Someone totally and completely forgot to tell me that Applebee’s stinks like the bathroom at White Castle. I remember when the chain first opened in my town and oh, how it was just the bestest. What happened? Is it just my location that serves food fit for swine and offers waitstaff with attention spans of a toddler?

I should have gotten the hint, but alas, we had a gift card. In driving up Local Busy Road we passed Lonestar Steakhouse, Red Lobster, Chili’s and Cheddars.. and these are just the ones that come to mind. Every single one was packed to the gills, with the waitlist spilling out into the cold dark night. I tensed up, not liking to wait and being totally hungry. When we got to the Applebee’s, we were able to get the first spot. Uh oh! The parking lot was huge, so maybe it was just luck. Walking in, I even asked my husband, “are we missing something”? The place was empty save for maybe 10 tables of dinners. One lonely guy sat at the bar. It was 7pm on a Friday night.

Our waitress was of the worst I’ve ever had. She did not re-fill our drinks and forgot multiple times the spoon my husband had requested. I made a special request on my meal and that was completely ignored. Her slowness led me to just give up and we both mentally noted that I should blog about the ordeal later.

Our food was not inedible, but simply mediocre. I had the quesadilla burger that was impossible to pick up and my husband the chicken fried chicken. There are no photos as the food looked like it had been sat upon and then placed under a heat lamp for 30 minutes. To top all of this off, in a combination of horrible service and poor food quality, our desserts were prepared and sat in the back for at least 10 minutes. The “fresh” whipped cream had almost returned to cream by the time is reached our table.

We will certainly not be returning to Crapplebee’s anytime soon.

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This time of year always does it to me. All the holiday projects, the glitter, the bright colors and merry faces. Inspiration abounds! So much to quilt, scrap, glue and finish… all while tending to daily life plus holiday parties, gift shopping and the dreaded gift wrapping. Last year, with time to spare and share, I was the handmade diva. For example: stockings and knitting needle case. Now, with a new life and new responsibilities, I’ve barely picked up a needle of any kind, except to fish a splinter from my husband’s finger. I feel the pull, the urge, that drawing in of creativity. How do I find balance? The craft bug has infected me.

What are you making? How do you keep simplicity in mind during the busy holiday season?

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Excuse the sexual punnery in my title (think: who are you wearing?), but I have to know, who is your culinary inspiration these days?

I mentioned that I’m having a hard time cooking from my hard-copy recipe file. My meal planning seems to happen in two ways - brainstorming via internet and quick-storming via coupons/sales. For full confession, I need to add that 99% of my cookbooks are still in boxes in the basement. Now that this veg-friendly gal is feeding a family of carnivores, my plethora of vegan cookbooks doesn’t seem so useful. Given that we are moving in 6 months-ish and that there are 6 (yes, 6) boxes of cookbooks, the reality is there they shall stay.

So, most of the recipe-cooking I’ve done has been inspired by my blogging comrades. I’ve recently discovered a frugal blog, a sophisticated blog and a blog of pure decadence. With these, I subscribe to just 15 food blogs. There is certainly room for a touch more food-blog-goodness in my reader.

So, who are you eating these days?

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It was a cold, dreary day and there was a sick kid at home. I wasn’t feel too hot myself, having slept restlessly the night before. The easy way out would have been takeout, but I pushed through the urge. I knew I could put together a super-easy 30 minute meal just like Rachel Ray.

Simple Chicken Parmesan, Buttery Pasta and Garlic Bread
Start water for pasta. Cook 8-10 chicken patties in 425 degree oven for 10 minutes. Flip over, top with tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese. Return to oven and bake chicken for 5 more minutes. Add pasta to water. Cook for 8 minutes. After 5 minutes are up on chicken, add garlic bread to oven. Cook for 10 more minutes. When pasta is ready, toss with salt, pepper, butter and parmesan cheese. Remove chicken and bread from oven. Serve with garlic bread.

I will fully admit there were no veggies on our table - it was half oversight, half protest. Steam or nuke your favorite veggie to health-enhance this quick meal - Italian in a flash!

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In case you’ve come here to the land of Midwest Neurotica by some strange way (remember AltaVista?), I wanted to point out a very special feature. You can subscribe to not only my super-comfy blog feed, but also to my recipes and craftspiration feeds. On the latter two, I post links to foodie- and crafty-greatness from around the innernets. Just check out the “Feed” links on the top left, in the About section, to grab and go to your favorite reader. To put the cherry on the sundae, you can also subscribe by email if you’re not into RSS-ing.

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Classic Beef Roast
Serves 4

Wash and quarter 6 potatoes. Add to crock pot. Add in 1 bag baby carrots. Season lightly with onion granules. Stab a 3-4 lb pot roast with vigor and then add this to crockpot. Meat juices will flavor the veggies below. Season well with Lawry’s season salt and more onion granules. Add 1 cup of water. Turn crockpot to low and cook all day (at least 7 hours).

Remove meat and veggies, reserving all drippings and juices. There should be about 2 cups. Mix 4 T Wondra flour with 1/2 cup cold water. Bring meat juices to a boil in a sauce pan. Whisk in flour-water slurry. Bring to boil, then reduce heat. Add salt, pepper and Kitchen Bouquet to taste. The gravy should be rich, brown and tasty.

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Nearly six years ago, I heard about the black bean brownies trick in a Weight Watchers forum. Then came the No Pudge fat free brownies that taste, well, fat free.  The underlying secrets here - small number of ingredients and a microwave - were instantly appealing, despite the lack of taste appeal in these recipes.  I’ve been on the hunt every since for super-quick desserts (bonus points for being microwaveable). They also need to be relatively inexpensive - so those single serving Duncan Hines thingies just won’t cut it.

Just this week I’ve come across two fabulous recipes that fit the bill. I am so excited to try them out:

• Make Cake in a Mug
• Two Ingredient Pumpkin Cake

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I consider myself fairly introspective and self reflective. I think I see the world through pretty clear glasses - reality is my real. Today I received my first mom jeans catalog, including knee-length tops that resemble maternity wear. I double-checked the cover; this was NOT a catalog for those with child. I even checked the mailing label - perhaps it was meant for someone else. So what gives? How do I fit the criteria for this catalog? Am I a mom? Do I require chest-high and tent-like apparel? Well shoot - I guess I am a mom now… and I am a touch overweight. Argh!

Not willing to face this horror, the catalog went in the trash. But, I prepared a decidely maternal supper, in honor of my new-found old- and fat-ness. The dish heretofore known as “Mom Jeans and a Tunic” includes Maple Mustard-Glazed Chicken and potatoes au gratin (yes, from a box). Noble Pig’s recipe was quite delish, almost enough-so to make me forget than I had now found my Woman Within.

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